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Living with Invisible Disabilities

  It’s been a year since my hysterectomy.   I had wanted to share how much my life has improved since which in some respects it has.  But unfortunately for me, I still have other lifelong conditions that disable me daily. So although, it’s a relief not to have to deal with the debilitating gynaecological pain that I suffered with for over 20 years, Life continues to be a struggle.  I was trying to create a TikTok video and was looking for pictures to help illustrate how hard things were but there was no evidence of my struggle.  The trauma, the pain, the scarring. The panic, the anxiety & loss are all invisible.  I have nothing tangible to show the hell that I’ve lived through.    In the words of my heroes, Maya Angelou, “Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Up from a past that’s rooted in pain I rise” I will keep rising for as long as I can.  I owe it to myself. 

Why Don’t Healthcare Providers understand Medical Trauma?

 Our surgery has recently gotten 2 new partners which saved it from closing. I’ve ALWAYS been anaemic since I started periods or even before because 1) I’ve got weird shaped red blood cells & 2) I’ve basically been haemorrhaging every month until my op earlier this year. 3) my DMARDs (drugs that prevent damage in my joints) have an impact.  Since my op, and the absence of periods, my iron levels have been slowly climbing and my Rheumatologist told me the last time I had a new PB ๐Ÿ˜…  I’m doing all the things to encourage it.  Just before Christmas, I had my HBA1C done (basically my diabetes report card) which includes a full blood count.  The results came in today (I’m basically walking around with a normal HBA1C ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿฟ) but I just got a phone call from the surgery saying the dr would like to test me for anaemia .  At this point I’m so bored & fed up with unnecessary prods.  Like you’ve got data in front of you. Make of it what you will.  I understand wanting to do due diligen

Chapter 34

So it’s my last day being 34. This year, for me, has been one of getting to know myself even more than I thought I did. It was also a year where I got to show up for myself.  This year showed me that I could face my fears, conquer them and excel. It showed me that I am worth all the compassion and love I give to all those who know me. It showed me that I’m worth spending hard-earned money to get a better quality of life.  It showed me that I can show up for myself when people decide not to show up for me. It showed me that the friends I have made during my metamorphosis, who also were on the journey of self-discovery, are amazing people who let me be my whole self.  It made me realise that I can and will change things if they no longer serve me. This year, I’ve been able to begin the journey of unmasking and stop trying to fit the Neurotypical view of self. This year, I have met kindred spirits. I have realised there is nothing greater than being known completely and honestly. I am unl

Free Desktop Wallpaper to Celebrate Autumn!

 Hi everyone, My favourite season is here! To celebrate, I've made a desktop wallpaper with a list of my favourite things of this season. If you would like to download it (for personal use only, please), Here's the link . I try to honour each season and live my life guided by them. I feel more in tune and appreciate the best bits nature gives us this way. Also, I need the seasons to help with my plants as a gardener !  Do you love Autumn? What are your best bits?

Films I'm very Excited to Watch in the Next Few Months (and why you should be too)

 If you didn't know this about me, I LOVE the cinema! I go pretty often, and film premiers feature heavily in my planners! So after lockdowns, the cinema industry is struggling to get back on its feet. Cineworld is even teetering on bankruptcy. As an unlimited card holder, this is such sad news, and I hope they can pull through. However, it is not all bad news as the film industry has some corkers coming up!  After the D23 Expo , there are a lot of good films coming out of the Disney/Pixar studio. I will not be listing them here, but I've popped a link you can visit to see. I'm incredibly excited about The Little Mermaid coming out in the Spring (2023).  Talking about Disney magic, This next film has been 30 years in the making. I'm excited to kick off Halloween 2022 with Hocus Pocus 2! It's being premiered on Disney+ on September 30, 2022. I'm away for work but I will be catching up with my hubby when I get back. I'm scared of the Sanderson sisters ๐Ÿคฃ. Ther

RA Awareness Week 2022

 As most of you know, I live with Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA for short). Every year, The National Rheumatoid Arthritis Society ( NRAS) does an awareness week where they, along with members of the community, try and raise awareness of this condition. I t is so misunderstood. I try to do my bit, especially as a thirty-something woman living with this.  This year's theme is "Fact or Fiction".  They have created a mini quiz to test your knowledge of RA and give you a chance to win some prizes!  So What are you waiting for? Give it a go and tell me how you did! I'm an open book, so if you have any questions, whether about the condition itself or about my lived experience of it, Please do not hesitate to ask me!  If you are newly diagnosed (or think this might be what you are dealing with). First, you should know that things can only get better from here on out. I remember how bleak things seemed back then for me. Also, do not get fobbed off. Evidence shows that early inte

Erm Hello Again

Okay, so since the last time I wrote here, I have realised something about myself. It's bloody obvious when I look back, to be honest. I'm Neurodivergent. I thrive off Dopamine. I get overwhelmed very quickly, and once something doesn't hold my focus, we can kiss goodbye to me engaging. This is the same reason I can't ever stick to a skincare routine - Good props to me still doing the daytime one, though; nighttime is another matter altogether. Since I realised this and other people affirming my thoughts around this, I know the reason why I am successful in life is because of the systems I have in place. I'm now at a point where I am intentionally working with the wiring of my brain rather than beating myself up. So what does this mean for this space? I'm going to write as much as I can. I have missed having a space to write for myself. What can you expect? I know over the last few years, this blog has focused on my chronic illnesses - because it was cons