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My Breasts & I - Part 2

Since I wrote the first part of this Saga last year, a lot of things have happened. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you'd know my health hasn't been stellar over the last year. I added multiple ailments to my roster. 



The results for the previous Mass came through as not Malignant (YAY!) since then I've had various recurrences in both breasts (6 Core Biopsies, 1 Mammogram ) I had a wide excision about a month and a half ago where the surgeon attempted to get rid of most of the masses. 



A week later at my Post OP Check up, I was distraught to find out he didn't take all the masses in there because I knew we'd only end up back where we begun. After he left and suggested a "wait and see " approach, I broke down crying in front of the nurses in the room because it just seemed like all the pain, suffering I had endured was never going to end. 

A week later, I had another mass begin to form. I was right. I was bloody right. Back to the start except now I h…

Anniversaries - Memories they Evoke

It has been a whole year since this whole thing began.

Before this I did have multiple challenges that I was juggling whilst trying to lead a kick ass life. This crash that happened last Spring
has been hard but very necessary. I'm the first person to tell my friends and family to cut themselves some slack. I however am not very good at giving myself that slack.

This has forced my body into doing down a gear or two. I still punish myself mentally though which is so not the best. I was just speaking about this to my therapist the other day. I give myself a good talking to - CHILL OUT LUCE!  YOU ARE REALLY DOING YOUR BEST. SO WHAT IF YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL. Sometimes I even say these out loud.

I left my job at the charity I was working at in November, I didn't have any downtime really as the business Christmas rush was already ramped up. That didn't really slow down until Christmas week. I had been treating my business like a 9-5 which it shouldn't be seeing as I no l…

The Blank Page

I think most writers would've experienced the frustration of the persistent blank page at one time or another in their lives.
Lately, that's all I've experienced. It's like my brain is so tired to be creative. I figured the only way to by pass this stage and move on is by writing about the experience therefore conquering the blank page! (see what I did there?) Hopefully, my plan works out.

I just had a brain wave - Maybe you could suggest things you want me to write about?  ANYTHING (within reason - I am pretty open though)

Hope to hear from you,

Lucy

False Alarms, Friends & Fridays

This week has been an intense one. After the shock of receiving my surgery date quite mundanely on the Thursday before Mr B left for his work trip, I quickly reverted to my trusty coping mechanism - PLANNING.

I rallied friends to help me pick the boys up from school, one to take them to school on the surgery date, my sister to be home as a contingency & Taxis to drive me about for the week.

I agonised over asking friends to pitch in, I’m someone who grew up having to sort her shit out by herself so relying on others doesn’t come naturally, I lamented to geographically distant friends about my conundrum, my fear of appearing to take liberties but they rightly assured me that I should ask.

I’m so glad I did because the response was amazing and a MASSIVE weight off my shoulders. I felt so loved.

The actual date came, Tuesday. Everything ran with Miltary precision. The taxi was on time, We dropped the boys en route to the hospital and I was at the reception desk with 5 mins to spare.

Friendship as Adults - The good, The Rude, The Er well.

As a very vocal introverted INFJ , Friendships have always been peculiar to me.
I’m very friendly, easy to get along with HOWEVER, I can count on my fingers the amount of close friends I have. I find it very difficult to be part of a group. My independent streak is way too strong.  Growing up, I always wanted a Anne/Diana kind of friendship which I did have from age 2-11. I think to evaluate my social circles at present, my husband is my bestest friend. Then I have friends from the different circles I frequent, then acquaintances (I have tons of those) . 
When I became a Mum the first time, I found it particularly lonely because although I had lots of friends to do things with only a handful actually got to know the real me and the shit I was dealing with (and for them I’m so grateful)
Vulnerability doesn’t come easy to me, having grown up in an environment where that was used to hurt you. I’m slowly absorbing the Brenè Brown idea that vulnerability equals strength. 
I think friendshi…

Hair Journey : Twist Outs & Hair Hauls

If you know me in real life, You would have noticed that I have been growing out my grade 2 fro.
I spoke about my hair being a reliable barometer for my internal health in the past. This I think is still a fair assessment.

I was going away for the weekend and my plan was to use my time on the mainland to get my hair twisted. This wasn't meant to be though as I was let down by the hairdresser ( with a very condescending "Sorry Sweetie" *eye roll*) So I needed to get my hair sorted.

On Thursday evening, Whilst I watched Death in Paradise, I got my supplies together. These were

Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Hold and Shine MistShea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing SmoothieDenman Detangling BrushSpray BottleOlive Oil I started by spraying each section with the mist, moisturising it, detangling with the Brush before finally twisting it. I then sealed with the oil. 
Paying attention to the front, I made sure to part it the way I wanted it to look and took sm…

UKPA - The Big Meet 2019

It is Tuesday and I think it is safe to say that I'm right in the midst of "big meet blues" . This weekend was just amazing!

What is The Big Meet?
For non Planner people, it is simply a day of Planner love. We talk about planners, craft, shop and more importantly we strengthen our friendships.

What is a Planner?
People call them diaries , organisers. There are different kinds and there are different people all over the world that love them.


This was my first time going to The Big Meet so I Vlogged about it. Check out my video below:


If you enjoyed that then please Like, Comment, Share & Subscribe!


Journey Back to My First Love : Writing

I’ve always loved writing. Ever since I could really. It was my salvation from a world that didn’t understand me. I used to write stories about the life I wanted. It felt like something Enid Blyton would’ve written. Except I wasn’t an English writer who made children’s imaginations run wild. I was a 6 year old who lived in Nigeria, with a very confusing relationship with her distant dad. I still wanted to live in Honeysuckle Cottage down a country lane somewhere.

I kept writing to process the perils of growing up in a popularity contest also known as Boarding School. I gave my characters slightly disguised pseudonyms to the peers I struggled to connect with (& those I did connect with - no one was spared!)

I always kept a journal. I remember my mum saying to me at age 11, that I shouldn’t as people always end up reading it. It was irony indeed at 14 when she was the one who invaded my privacy.
After that, I was cautious but I couldn’t stay away so I started another at 15, in a dif…

2019: Start as You Mean To Go On

Happy New Year! I’m so glad to be writing not just for the sake of venting. But just writing! Woohoo! This is the first year I haven’t set goals for myself. When it came to choosing my word for the year, I decided on “ Being”.

After the utter shithole of a year I had in 2018, the most important thing to me is not how many miles I’ve run, what races I’m doing, what job goals to smash, I’ll be focusing on just being.

Not achieving, Just being.

This is harder that you think it is by the way. My mind is 150 miles per hour and being mindful is hard work. Not taking on too much is tough. Not setting huge goals is ridiculously tricky.  That’s just how I’ve always been.

This is not to say I don’t have things I’m working on this year, the key difference is the lack of pressure attached to them.

I’m working with guidelines.

For example : Write More, Finish your Course by June. Simplicity .


For a long time, I've been wondering of oreos & gin is still a good fit for me, I'm still not …