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Anniversaries - Memories they Evoke




It has been a whole year since this whole thing began.

Before this I did have multiple challenges that I was juggling whilst trying to lead a kick ass life. This crash that happened last Spring
has been hard but very necessary. I'm the first person to tell my friends and family to cut themselves some slack. I however am not very good at giving myself that slack.

Presentation of RA in Feet - Lucy Benton April 2018
My Feet were so Swollen & Painful - April 2018
This has forced my body into doing down a gear or two. I still punish myself mentally though which is so not the best. I was just speaking about this to my therapist the other day. I give myself a good talking to - CHILL OUT LUCE!  YOU ARE REALLY DOING YOUR BEST. SO WHAT IF YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL. Sometimes I even say these out loud.

I left my job at the charity I was working at in November, I didn't have any downtime really as the business Christmas rush was already ramped up. That didn't really slow down until Christmas week. I had been treating my business like a 9-5 which it shouldn't be seeing as I no longer have the same battery levels that I used to. It's called the Boom & Bust Cycle. I am working hard at correcting this.

It's been quite hard reliving what could easily be one of the hardest years of my life. This is saying something as I have been through numerous traumas. The hardest thing is not having enough energy to do all the things I love to do.

Me on Mother's Day - Feeling Good!
Trying to run a business with Chronic Illnesses is certainly interesting. I get frustrated with the Stop-Start Nature of it all at times but I'm just keeping it going. Bit by little Bit.

 I honestly think Exercise is the key to feeling better. I'm putting in exercise back into my schedule. I used to do Yin Yoga but I'm trying to do it consistently at home , getting back into developing my home practice again. I also have started attending a Pilates Class for those with CFS ( Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) I haven't got CFS but that class is more my pace. I had Breast Surgery 2 weeks ago, Once I heal, I will be doing Aqua Stuff too.

On my good days, my pain levels are minimal but still very much there but I feel mentally good. I have made a habit of taking pictures of those days so I have memories of the good too. It's very important when you are living with a life long illness.

Anyway, what I have learnt through reflecting and looking back is that I absolutely have to nip in the bud the pinning for "the old days". Every time Timehop shows me the long distances I used to run I feel brokenhearted. I can't do that to myself anymore. I'm focusing on the future and how to keep me feeling good.

What are your tips on living your best life?  Comment below!





















Comments

  1. Sounds like both of us that struggle to take our own advice then. This is a bittersweet anniversary, not the kind of thing you want to have to celebrate, and I’m so sorry for how difficult (understatement) the past year has been.

    I think it’s very commendable to run your own business alongside chronic illness. Being unwell, having no energy, it makes anything and everything that bit more difficult. I hope your recovery from the recent breast surgery goes smoothly, and I think the idea of adding gentle exercise when you’re totally ready sounds like a good idea, just to see what works for you. You’re right about the reminiscing side of things, when we look back at how things used to be, those ‘good old days’, it doesn’t do us much good. It’s so important to be focusing on the present, and looking to the future with a little hope, perhaps even more important on those days where it’s harder to do.

    Thank you for sharing this so honestly. I’m new to your blog (you recently visited mine, thank you!) so I’ll check out some older posts now, get to know a bit more about your journey.

    Caz xx

    PS. Take things easy & give yourself some slack! I’m hoping that me telling you this is a little easier to take than telling yourself ;)

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