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Friendship as Adults - The good, The Rude, The Er well.

As a very vocal introverted INFJ , Friendships have always been peculiar to me.
I’m very friendly, easy to get along with HOWEVER, I can count on my fingers the amount of close friends I have. I find it very difficult to be part of a group. My independent streak is way too strong.  Growing up, I always wanted a Anne/Diana kind of friendship which I did have from age 2-11. I think to evaluate my social circles at present, my husband is my bestest friend. Then I have friends from the different circles I frequent, then acquaintances (I have tons of those) . 
When I became a Mum the first time, I found it particularly lonely because although I had lots of friends to do things with only a handful actually got to know the real me and the shit I was dealing with (and for them I’m so grateful)
Vulnerability doesn’t come easy to me, having grown up in an environment where that was used to hurt you. I’m slowly absorbing the Brenè Brown idea that vulnerability equals strength. 
I think friendshi…

Hair Journey : Twist Outs & Hair Hauls

If you know me in real life, You would have noticed that I have been growing out my grade 2 fro.
I spoke about my hair being a reliable barometer for my internal health in the past. This I think is still a fair assessment.

I was going away for the weekend and my plan was to use my time on the mainland to get my hair twisted. This wasn't meant to be though as I was let down by the hairdresser ( with a very condescending "Sorry Sweetie" *eye roll*) So I needed to get my hair sorted.

On Thursday evening, Whilst I watched Death in Paradise, I got my supplies together. These were

Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Hold and Shine MistShea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing SmoothieDenman Detangling BrushSpray BottleOlive Oil I started by spraying each section with the mist, moisturising it, detangling with the Brush before finally twisting it. I then sealed with the oil. 
Paying attention to the front, I made sure to part it the way I wanted it to look and took sm…

UKPA - The Big Meet 2019

It is Tuesday and I think it is safe to say that I'm right in the midst of "big meet blues" . This weekend was just amazing!

What is The Big Meet?
For non Planner people, it is simply a day of Planner love. We talk about planners, craft, shop and more importantly we strengthen our friendships.

What is a Planner?
People call them diaries , organisers. There are different kinds and there are different people all over the world that love them.


This was my first time going to The Big Meet so I Vlogged about it. Check out my video below:


If you enjoyed that then please Like, Comment, Share & Subscribe!


Journey Back to My First Love : Writing

I’ve always loved writing. Ever since I could really. It was my salvation from a world that didn’t understand me. I used to write stories about the life I wanted. It felt like something Enid Blyton would’ve written. Except I wasn’t an English writer who made children’s imaginations run wild. I was a 6 year old who lived in Nigeria, with a very confusing relationship with her distant dad. I still wanted to live in Honeysuckle Cottage down a country lane somewhere.

I kept writing to process the perils of growing up in a popularity contest also known as Boarding School. I gave my characters slightly disguised pseudonyms to the peers I struggled to connect with (& those I did connect with - no one was spared!)

I always kept a journal. I remember my mum saying to me at age 11, that I shouldn’t as people always end up reading it. It was irony indeed at 14 when she was the one who invaded my privacy.
After that, I was cautious but I couldn’t stay away so I started another at 15, in a dif…

2019: Start as You Mean To Go On

Happy New Year! I’m so glad to be writing not just for the sake of venting. But just writing! Woohoo! This is the first year I haven’t set goals for myself. When it came to choosing my word for the year, I decided on “ Being”.

After the utter shithole of a year I had in 2018, the most important thing to me is not how many miles I’ve run, what races I’m doing, what job goals to smash, I’ll be focusing on just being.

Not achieving, Just being.

This is harder that you think it is by the way. My mind is 150 miles per hour and being mindful is hard work. Not taking on too much is tough. Not setting huge goals is ridiculously tricky.  That’s just how I’ve always been.

This is not to say I don’t have things I’m working on this year, the key difference is the lack of pressure attached to them.

I’m working with guidelines.

For example : Write More, Finish your Course by June. Simplicity .


For a long time, I've been wondering of oreos & gin is still a good fit for me, I'm still not …

Dear Dr, My Pain Matters.

How I know if someone has really crossed a boundary is if I just can’t stop seething about it. Unfortunately, in this case, I’m reminded every time I try and open our stupid door knobs , when I pick up something and it takes forever, when I can’t sleep because every joint hurts, when I wake up and I just know it’s a high pain day. When I dread getting in the car because I know it’s going to be painful. When I struggle to weed vinyl for orders  in my shop Etc etc. 
When someone who doesn’t know what it’s like to be in this body decides that they know better, I get really angry. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. I’m trying so hard to live my life the way I’d like it to be, trying so my boys don’t miss out to much. I’m doing my best to not let this condition snuff out all the colour in my life. I’m not going to lie, some days are harder than others. 
I just maybe expect a bit more empathy from specialists. 
Is that too much to expect?
I had a weird appointment last we…

Realities of Living with Autoimmune Illnesses

An obvious one is my lack of consistency in updating this blog. Since the last time I wrote here, I’ve had 2 flare ups of  2 out of 3 of my conditions, dealt with the madness of the end of the school year ( I’m on the PTA so there’s additional issues on that) , done numerous Summer Stalls for my craft business, House hunted, Moved house & kept 2 sproglets alive all while working my job. Let’s not even go to the emotional fall out that this time of year brings for me.

All this to say, I’m soooooooo tired. Like all the time. I don’t know how I do stuff half the time. Today though, I’m feeling extra guilty about my life. I struggle through the day and end up giving the left overs to my kids and I swore I would NEVER do that to them. I was telling my sister how I was feeling and she was kind enough to tell me I’m nothing like the people I am trying to avoid replicating. The intention is different and I agree with her. It’s not that I can & I choose not to but because I’m simply o…