Oreos & Gin

Ever since I was diagnosed last year with Rheumatoid Arthritis, I have been searching for a way to get back to enjoying movement. Prior to diagnosis, I loved to run. Being out in the woods with just the trees and the animals was my favourite thing to do. I wasn’t fond of pounding the pavements, for many reasons, but in the woods, I felt free and was able to push myself, or just wander. I was actually training for a half-marathon with only two weeks to go when symptoms appeared. At first, I didn’t think it was anything as my training was pretty gruelling. One day, after a long run, I took a nap and woke up with the worst pain ever, as well as feeling feverish. That was that, no more long runs for me since that day. I went through all the steps in the cycle of grief. I have finally gotten to a place of acceptance and along with that, I have found that although it hurts initially, exercise does help keep me mobile.. I wrote this post originally for Arthur's Place! To read t...

Back in the spring when I started having what I can only describe as the worst pain ever, I didn't know how things would pan out for me. I've been through some really dark times (even for me .. *titter* ) I went from full pelt Half Marathon Training (my last run being just over 10 miles) to hobbling out of bed and struggling with the stairs. I was going to run for Plan International The worst thing for me was aside from my obviously painful swollen ankles, I looked the same. It didn't seem like my whole body was on fire. The crippling fatigue & worst still the shroud of hopelessness that engulfed me. I didn't miss one day of work even though some days i'd rather be knocked out than endure one second of the day. I still did the parent thing. The partner thing. The business owner thing. I now know better because yet again, I pushed through and would end up crashing at weekends. It all started with a mass in my breast. I wrote about it here &...

Thank fuck for that! Honestly, worst week in terms of anxiety. I can normally hold my shit together in public but on Thursday , I needed a walk around my office block as I was so agitated. I got to the appointment & the consultant said my results were clear where cancer is concerned. My anxiety was reduced quite drastically. Turns out my theory is correct. It’s my old friend -  Hidradenitis Suppurativa  (whatever you do, do not Google images!) I say HS for short. I thought it might be draining from my armpit to my breast tissue which caused this mass to form.  I’m sad as I honestly don’t know when I’ll be back running. I don’t know when I’ll feel like myself again. I’ve had a few days to wallow, but I’ve decided that I’ve got to make plans to get back to an ok version of where I was. My immune system is totally kicking my arse. I have gone from Half Marathon ready to struggling with stairs in two weeks. This is no April Fools. It's trying to o...

Over the last few months of training for my half marathon, i’ve Realised how much running depends on your mental resilience. If there is one trait that I’m 100% confident in , that would be it. There are many many things that have happened to me that I have bounced back from thanks to resilience. Now I also know on the flip side that if I let my mind win, I’m toast. Ask my personal trainer. I may have a bad run because my mind has taken me down a rabbit hole of negative self talk. I come back feeling like shit. Start to spiral, then I catch myself. This is where a good mantra comes in. Mine is simple. That’s the simple affirmation that I use all the time, not just in running but in life too. It’s true and it gets me way past my brain when it matters most. “I can do hard things.”

I did RED January and here's what I learnt:  January is a long brutal month so getting outside is a prerequisite to survive it.  It's wet & some of your usual routes may not be the best at this time of year!  Most of the time you'll have to run in the dark but you'll love it anyway - Be Safe, Be Seen!  Sometimes you get the best of the Winter Sun and everything just clicks into place. You get braver and end up going to Park Run for a strong finish, your limbs hate you but your mind loves you.  IOW MEDINA Parkrun - Photo Credit : Peter Billington I'm training for a half marathon as you know so I made it through January by Walking, Running, Pilates, Yoga & Rowing.  To wrap up, doing RED January meant that I started the year so low, lacking confidence in everything about myself. I'm talking everything. I slowly built myself up until the voices that were a roaring, ...

The last time we went to Disneyland Paris was in July,2017. We stayed in Newport Bay Hotel - which was right up my street in terms of decor & luxury. I was a bit apprehensive this time round but I want to try ALL the disney hotels so i figured this was my chance to tick Hotel Cheyenne off my list. Hotel Cheyenne is styled in a Wild West Frontier town style. I really liked it. Yee-Haaaa! The bedrooms itself was styled in a Toy Story theme. I had Woody, Jessie & Bullseye in a frame behind my head. I was in a shared room that consisted of a double bed, a single & a pull out single bed. Friday We arrived, got checked in, Unpacked and headed into the Disney village. We were directed into the runDisney expo which was located in the Disney Event arena on the outskirts of the Disney village. There we collected our bibs and race packs. We browsed the runDisney merchandise. I was on a tight-ish budget so I bought myself a limited...

Since about Wednesday when I did my Vlog on my Facebook page, I've been feeling off. In that video, I admitted out loud for the first time (to myself) that I was struggling mentally. I however figured that I'll be doing an inflatable mud run at the weekend and that should reset me. Long story short, I didn't go. I was absolutely devastated - which sounds a tad dramatic but it was more than the event. Something, I'd looked forward to with someone I care about. I had pictured all the awesome memories we would've made together. The run itself, campfires, after parties, drunken nights . All of that taken away from me. Just like that *snaps fingers* . After I found out, I went for a plod. The adrenaline of being let down once more by this person flooded through me. Thoughts about  the reasons - who & why made me even more angry. The core reason has been the bane of my life for as long as I can remember. ( I know I'm being vague, trying to be sensitive to the inv...