Skip to main content

It’s not Cancer.


Thank fuck for that!
Honestly, worst week in terms of anxiety. I can normally hold my shit together in public but on Thursday , I needed a walk around my office block as I was so agitated. I got to the appointment & the consultant said my results were clear where cancer is concerned. My anxiety was reduced quite drastically.


Turns out my theory is correct.
It’s my old friend - Hidradenitis Suppurativa (whatever you do, do not Google images!)



I say HS for short. I thought it might be draining from my armpit to my breast tissue which caused this mass to form. 

I’m sad as I honestly don’t know when I’ll be back running. I don’t know when I’ll feel like myself again. I’ve had a few days to wallow, but I’ve decided that I’ve got to make plans to get back to an ok version of where I was. My immune system is totally kicking my arse. I have gone from Half Marathon ready to struggling with stairs in two weeks. This is no April Fools. It's trying to overwhelm me. But I cannot let it. 

I’m going to make Yoga & Pilates my new focus - they were my backing dancers when running was lead. I’ll walk a lot more i.e. replace running (for now) 

That’s all near future stuff though. Once bank holiday is through, I’m going to see about this mass (it’s nothing scary but it’s still painful AF), give my gynaecology a break (whilst deciding if I want to accept next step on my treatment plan) and find a way to stop my joints from hurting so much.

I’ve also spoken to my hubby and I must admit he’s right, I do have to take stock of my life and de-stress/un-busy it. 



There’s a reason I like planners, you get shit done with them. 

Here we go.





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Living Your Life Intentionally

I’ve always been the sort of person who wants to learn about how other people live their lives. A few years back - think when I became a parent, I started really wanting to live very intentionally.

Over the last few years this has looked different depending on where we are in life.  When E was 15 months & we were starting our business, we got rid of the telly. This was a 2 part action. 1) my toddler’s first sentence was “tiddy on pees “ & 2) Shaving off our Sky subscription & TV licence would do our budget good.

We were Live Telly free for 3ish years.

However now we’re hitting our 30s some sooner than others (*cough cough* Mr B! ) I started to think more about doing this intrinsically.

You see as a kid, I had this immense pressure to perform. I had to be the best at EVERYTHING. There was no room for failure. There was no space for emotional weakness. So what followed was me seeing my value & sense of self via my grades and abilities as a student. This changed at Sixth…

Got An Answer: My Rheumatoid Diagnosis

Back in the spring when I started having what I can only describe as the worst pain ever, I didn't know how things would pan out for me. I've been through some really dark times (even for me .. *titter* ) I went from full pelt Half Marathon Training (my last run being just over 10 miles) to hobbling out of bed and struggling with the stairs.



The worst thing for me was aside from my obviously painful swollen ankles, I looked the same. It didn't seem like my whole body was on fire. The crippling fatigue & worst still the shroud of hopelessness that engulfed me.

I didn't miss one day of work even though some days i'd rather be knocked out than endure one second of the day. I still did the parent thing. The partner thing. The business owner thing.
I now know better because yet again, I pushed through and would end up crashing at weekends.

It all started with a mass in my breast. I wrote about it here & explored more here.

 To catch up, read the posts between t…

Travel: runDisney Weekend - Part 1

There are 2 important things you need to know about me:
1) I'm a HUGE Disney Nerd - and proud of it.
2) I LOVE TO TRAVEL. See new places (or the same favourite places 👀) , meet new faces. Have a cultural exchange & swap life perspectives.


I have a huge list of places I want to see but one place I always will want to come back to is Paris. Ever since I stepped foot in France & all my daydreams met my reality, it's somewhere I just adore. This summer, me & my boys, hubby included visited Disneyland Paris for the first time and that too lived up to my expectations.


I felt so at home there, I am seriously considering investing in an annual pass.

This weekend is the 2nd runDisney weekend in Paris and yours truly is going to be there. My first official 10k race had to be in the place that makes me extremely happy. Am I looking forward to it!? You betcha'!

I'm meeting my Online Running Family at the Eurostar to experience this together.

Today though, I had fun wi…