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It’s not Cancer.


Thank fuck for that!
Honestly, worst week in terms of anxiety. I can normally hold my shit together in public but on Thursday , I needed a walk around my office block as I was so agitated. I got to the appointment & the consultant said my results were clear where cancer is concerned. My anxiety was reduced quite drastically.


Turns out my theory is correct.
It’s my old friend - Hidradenitis Suppurativa (whatever you do, do not Google images!)



I say HS for short. I thought it might be draining from my armpit to my breast tissue which caused this mass to form. 

I’m sad as I honestly don’t know when I’ll be back running. I don’t know when I’ll feel like myself again. I’ve had a few days to wallow, but I’ve decided that I’ve got to make plans to get back to an ok version of where I was. My immune system is totally kicking my arse. I have gone from Half Marathon ready to struggling with stairs in two weeks. This is no April Fools. It's trying to overwhelm me. But I cannot let it. 

I’m going to make Yoga & Pilates my new focus - they were my backing dancers when running was lead. I’ll walk a lot more i.e. replace running (for now) 

That’s all near future stuff though. Once bank holiday is through, I’m going to see about this mass (it’s nothing scary but it’s still painful AF), give my gynaecology a break (whilst deciding if I want to accept next step on my treatment plan) and find a way to stop my joints from hurting so much.

I’ve also spoken to my hubby and I must admit he’s right, I do have to take stock of my life and de-stress/un-busy it. 



There’s a reason I like planners, you get shit done with them. 

Here we go.





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