Since that weekend where my life seemed to pause, and I realised that though the BC Scare was over, I had yet more battles to fight, I have been struggling physically (to be fair emotionally too).
I am now hubbling instead of running or walking, getting in and out of the bath not to talk of the 24/7 pain . I’ve had bloods done & have been put on starter meds. My joints are very painful & swollen. My immune system is very angry.
Yet coping with the everyday has been very tricky. I still have a very busy life to lead & responsibilities to carry.
However, I started doing some morning salutations just to get me going and today I went to my usual 2 hr class and my teacher was amazing at checking if the poses felt ok. If they didn’t, she offered me props to help and if they didn’t , she gave me an alternative.
I was so happy that I was doing it! Afterwards, I stopped at the beach (my happy place) just so my swollen painful joints could bathe in the sea. The tide was out but I found some pools so I gingerly stepped into it.
I noticed a beautiful shell in the pool . I tend to think when I notice things like that in moments like these, it’s serendipity. So I picked it up.
I was listening to one of my favourite Coldplay songs “ Every tear is a Waterfall”.
All those elements blended together made a beautiful moment that I so treasure. Of course I got home and was wiped out. I napped for ages.
But fundamentally, I know regardless of what comes my way, I will be ok.
“I'd rather be a comma than a full stop
Maybe I'm in the black, maybe I'm on my knees
Maybe I'm in the gap between the two trapezes
But my heart is beating and my pulses start
Cathedrals in my heart
As we saw oh this light I swear you, emerge blinking into
To tell me it's alright
As we soar walls, every siren is a symphony
And every tear's a waterfall”