Skip to main content

False Alarms, Friends & Fridays


This week has been an intense one. After the shock of receiving my surgery date quite mundanely on the Thursday before Mr B left for his work trip, I quickly reverted to my trusty coping mechanism - PLANNING.

I rallied friends to help me pick the boys up from school, one to take them to school on the surgery date, my sister to be home as a contingency & Taxis to drive me about for the week.

I agonised over asking friends to pitch in, I’m someone who grew up having to sort her shit out by herself so relying on others doesn’t come naturally, I lamented to geographically distant friends about my conundrum, my fear of appearing to take liberties but they rightly assured me that I should ask.

I’m so glad I did because the response was amazing and a MASSIVE weight off my shoulders. I felt so loved.

The actual date came, Tuesday. Everything ran with Miltary precision. The taxi was on time, We dropped the boys en route to the hospital and I was at the reception desk with 5 mins to spare.

A very smiley nurse informed me she would be caring for me and we settled into the pre-assessment checks. This was when I noticed the wrong breast written on the front of the booklet. I anxiously queried it. She went to get the Surgeon who spoke to me and it turned out there was some confusion.

The breast I needed focus on was a bigger operation so it was decided to book me in for that. I wish the letters they sent had more information on it so I could’ve spotted it much earlier.

In the mean time, I breathed a sigh of relief as I wasn’t looking forward to solo parenting my two rascals post surgery.

I cancelled all the support I had set up and eagerly looked forward to seeing my hubby at the weekend.

The time between Tuesday & Friday seemed to drag on. I got more and more fatigued, my pain levels increased and my tolerance decreased. But you know what, I made it.

I handled it all chronic illnesses & all.

My biggest takeaway from this week are 1) No Man is an Island & 2) I should never underestimate myself.

My life might be very different but I’m still the same badass on the inside and that mental resilience is needed more than ever.


Comments

  1. Emily Gillatt-Ball2 March 2019 at 20:06

    OMG "the wrong breast"????? That is just horrendous - what if you hadn't noticed? Yes, definitely don't underestimate yourself, Lucy - you are amazing to cope with it all as well as you do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When they start marking the wrong boob I’m sure I’d have been like WHAT?!!! πŸ˜†πŸ˜† Thanks Emily! πŸ’•

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Got An Answer: My Rheumatoid Diagnosis

Back in the spring when I started having what I can only describe as the worst pain ever, I didn't know how things would pan out for me. I've been through some really dark times (even for me .. *titter* ) I went from full pelt Half Marathon Training (my last run being just over 10 miles) to hobbling out of bed and struggling with the stairs.



The worst thing for me was aside from my obviously painful swollen ankles, I looked the same. It didn't seem like my whole body was on fire. The crippling fatigue & worst still the shroud of hopelessness that engulfed me.

I didn't miss one day of work even though some days i'd rather be knocked out than endure one second of the day. I still did the parent thing. The partner thing. The business owner thing.
I now know better because yet again, I pushed through and would end up crashing at weekends.

It all started with a mass in my breast. I wrote about it here & explored more here.

 To catch up, read the posts between t…

How the eff is this my life? - Moving Forward After a Hard Knock.

Do you ever have those days when all you can say is “how the fuck is this my life?”
Sometimes said in a Wow! I’m killing it but mostly said in bewilderment. I try and be present and aware of  what’s happening around me & within me, however I’m also guilty of zoning out and getting through my days in a perpetual daze. Occasionally you look up and you are stunned at what your life has become.



When this happens, you may be anxious or feel helpless about where you’ve ended up. Either through your own choices or the cards you’ve been dealt. I just wanted to write today, it’s never too late to make changes in order to achieve the life you want.

I’ve been saying that phrase lately but I know that life changes and we’ve got to adapt the best way we know how. So for me, I know with my new diagnosis, I can’t take on as much like I used to.
I need to give myself wiggle room in my schedule. I have to be kind to myself and say no to things I really want to do so I can function better. I need …

It’s not Cancer.

Thank fuck for that! Honestly, worst week in terms of anxiety. I can normally hold my shit together in public but on Thursday , I needed a walk around my office block as I was so agitated. I got to the appointment & the consultant said my results were clear where cancer is concerned. My anxiety was reduced quite drastically.

Turns out my theory is correct. It’s my old friend - Hidradenitis Suppurativa (whatever you do, do not Google images!)


I say HS for short. I thought it might be draining from my armpit to my breast tissue which caused this mass to form. 
I’m sad as I honestly don’t know when I’ll be back running. I don’t know when I’ll feel like myself again. I’ve had a few days to wallow, but I’ve decided that I’ve got to make plans to get back to an ok version of where I was. My immune system is totally kicking my arse. I have gone from Half Marathon ready to struggling with stairs in two weeks. This is no April Fools. It's trying to overwhelm me. But I cannot let it.