A Poem about Change

Living Your Life Intentionally

I’ve always been the sort of person who wants to learn about how other people live their lives. A few years back - think when I became a parent, I started really wanting to live very intentionally.

Over the last few years this has looked different depending on where we are in life. When E was 15 months & we were starting our business, we got rid of the telly. This was a 2 part action. 1) my toddler’s first sentence was “tiddy on pees “ & 2) Shaving off our Sky subscription & TV licence would do our budget good.

We were Live Telly free for 3ish years.

However now we’re hitting our 30s some sooner than others (*cough cough* Mr B! ) I started to think more about doing this intrinsically.

You see as a kid, I had this immense pressure to perform. I had to be the best at EVERYTHING. There was no room for failure. There was no space for emotional weakness. So what followed was me seeing my value & sense of self via my grades and abilities as a student. This changed at Sixth…

Got An Answer: My Rheumatoid Diagnosis

Back in the spring when I started having what I can only describe as the worst pain ever, I didn't know how things would pan out for me. I've been through some really dark times (even for me .. *titter* ) I went from full pelt Half Marathon Training (my last run being just over 10 miles) to hobbling out of bed and struggling with the stairs.

The worst thing for me was aside from my obviously painful swollen ankles, I looked the same. It didn't seem like my whole body was on fire. The crippling fatigue & worst still the shroud of hopelessness that engulfed me.

I didn't miss one day of work even though some days i'd rather be knocked out than endure one second of the day. I still did the parent thing. The partner thing. The business owner thing.
I now know better because yet again, I pushed through and would end up crashing at weekends.

It all started with a mass in my breast. I wrote about it here & explored more here.

To catch up, read the posts between t…

Managing Gynaecological Pain - a guide

Without delving into too much health history, I wanted to share my experience of managing gynaecological pain. I wanted to do that for a few reasons. 1) I like to share, in case my experience helps you with yours 2) I’m fucking scared I’m not a wuss by any stretch of the imagination. In fact I’ve put up with this awful condition for 20 years. Now I guess I’ve been chasing down a label for what I’ve been dealing with the entire time.

Back on the mainland, the head gynaecologist told me I had Adenomyosis & he couldn’t take Endometriosis off the table either. Ever since I was 14, I’ve been on a variety of pharmaceuticals to control my menstrual symptoms. I’ve also tried the natural path basically I’ve done it all. I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone is different & different combos work for each individual. When one of my meds’ stopped working, after 3 years, my pain returned. I’ve gotten to the point where I know it’s there, I just carry on until I possibly couldn’…

Oreos & Gin

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