Little Ways We Evolve

Little Ways We Evolve - Hair

Now that's an odd title for a blog post but bare with.
My hair is a very accurate barometer for where I am in my head. Anytime there's a change (first time I lopped it off- leaving home for boarding school at 11 & then preggo with 1st kid ) or even more pressing, a dip into the pit of depression (the other times it's been cut off). Anytime things are overwhelming, I reach for the clippers . It gives me a sense of liberty that I can't actually replicate. However this time around, I'm cutting my curls off because I actually can't keep up with the demands of coloured hair care. My life is too busy & active to be doing with the whole shebang.

During my runs I can feel the heat radiating through my fro. I'm not a fan. What I'll miss though are my crazy curls. I love them so much!! Missing them made me try growing them out. I even gave my hubby strict instructions to not let me cut them off. You see, I know what I'm like!

I'll probably just dye it brown & then see how I feel by Christmas: if I still want to cut it off then I'll begin the year with my grade 2 hair cut.
For now, we wait!

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False Alarms, Friends & Fridays

This week has been an intense one. After the shock of receiving my surgery date quite mundanely on the Thursday before Mr B left for his work trip, I quickly reverted to my trusty coping mechanism - PLANNING.

I rallied friends to help me pick the boys up from school, one to take them to school on the surgery date, my sister to be home as a contingency & Taxis to drive me about for the week.

I agonised over asking friends to pitch in, I’m someone who grew up having to sort her shit out by herself so relying on others doesn’t come naturally, I lamented to geographically distant friends about my conundrum, my fear of appearing to take liberties but they rightly assured me that I should ask.

I’m so glad I did because the response was amazing and a MASSIVE weight off my shoulders. I felt so loved.

The actual date came, Tuesday. Everything ran with Miltary precision. The taxi was on time, We dropped the boys en route to the hospital and I was at the reception desk with 5 mins to spare.

…

Got An Answer: My Rheumatoid Diagnosis

Back in the spring when I started having what I can only describe as the worst pain ever, I didn't know how things would pan out for me. I've been through some really dark times (even for me .. *titter* ) I went from full pelt Half Marathon Training (my last run being just over 10 miles) to hobbling out of bed and struggling with the stairs.

The worst thing for me was aside from my obviously painful swollen ankles, I looked the same. It didn't seem like my whole body was on fire. The crippling fatigue & worst still the shroud of hopelessness that engulfed me.

I didn't miss one day of work even though some days i'd rather be knocked out than endure one second of the day. I still did the parent thing. The partner thing. The business owner thing.
I now know better because yet again, I pushed through and would end up crashing at weekends.

It all started with a mass in my breast. I wrote about it here & explored more here.

To catch up, read the posts between t…

Friendship as Adults - The good, The Rude, The Er well.

As a very vocal introverted INFJ , Friendships have always been peculiar to me.
I’m very friendly, easy to get along with HOWEVER, I can count on my fingers the amount of close friends I have. I find it very difficult to be part of a group. My independent streak is way too strong. Growing up, I always wanted a Anne/Diana kind of friendship which I did have from age 2-11. I think to evaluate my social circles at present, my husband is my bestest friend. Then I have friends from the different circles I frequent, then acquaintances (I have tons of those) .
When I became a Mum the first time, I found it particularly lonely because although I had lots of friends to do things with only a handful actually got to know the real me and the shit I was dealing with (and for them I’m so grateful)
Vulnerability doesn’t come easy to me, having grown up in an environment where that was used to hurt you. I’m slowly absorbing the Brenè Brown idea that vulnerability equals strength.
I think friendshi…

Oreos & Gin

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